Topanga Canyon Inn Bed and Breakfast © 2013 All Rights Reserved

Topanga Canyon Inn bed & breakfast

RESERVATIONS  CALL (310) 570-3791 or (310) 455-1124 8:00 AM - 10:00 PM PST  or  EMAIL: BED@ TOPANGACANYONINN.COM

CASA BLANCA ROOMS:  SYLVIA & RAMON      NICK & NORA     CLARK & CAROLE     FRED & GINGER

CASA ROSA ROOMS:        BOGEY & BACALL    ME TARZAN, YOU JANE     TRACY & HEPBURN     RHETT & SCARLETT    OZZIE & HARRIET FAMILY SUITE 

THE GIRLS
​"I met Bill when I was an Inn-tern there.  I've got the blue towel to prove it."  M. Lewinsky
"A weekend at the Inn...who wouldn't smile?"  La Gioconda (Mona, to my friends)
"Oh poop!  Now they'll never spy me at the Topanga Canyon Inn."  Anna Chapman
"OMG, it was amazingly awesome or awesomely amazing?  Whatever?  Is that my phone?"  Tiffany from The Valley 
SCIENTISTS
"This place is the bomb."  J. Robert Oppenheimer
"Time slows down when you're at the Inn...relatively speaking."  A. Einstein
"Law#4: Attraction increases in an inverse relationship to one's distance from the Inn."  Sir Isaac Newton
"A natural selection."  Charles Darwin
"I give this place billions and billions of stars."   Carl Sagan
"Unlike my comet, it won't take me seventy-six years to return."  Edmond Halley 
WRITERS AND POETS
"Pablo found plums in a bowl that were cold and purple and firm and good.  'The Inn is good,' he said."  Ernest Hemingway
"It was the best of times.  It was the worst of times.  Still, they found us a room."  Charles Dickens
"Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.  Not so, this Inn."  W. F. Buckley, Jr.
"But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?  Aloft, yon B and B.  My room awaits"  W. Shakespeare
​"I had a whale of a time there, and I'm not just spouting off."  Herman Melville
"Let us go then, you and I, to the best inn under the Topanga sky...  No?  O.K., I'll work on it."  T.S. Eliot
PHILOSOPHERS
"This is the place of all of our collective dreams."  Carl G. Jung
"The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.  We took the room overlooking the park."  William James
MAGICIANS, WIZARDS, GHOSTS AND LAMP RUBBERS
"The only place I never wanted to escape from."  Harry Houdini
"I wand to go back."  Harry Potter
"My favorite haunt."  Casper
"I couldn't wish for a better Inn."  Aladdin
 LIFEGUARDS
"I would go there."  Eddie Aikau 
THE HOLY, THE DAMNED AND SUPPORTING PLAYERS
"Here they do unto others as they would have others do unto them...with breakfast thrown in."  Jesus of Nazareth
"There's always room at this Inn."  Joseph of Nazareth
"I couldn't conceive of a place more immaculate."  The Virgin Mary
"Love the Inn, but you still can't use my photo.  Sorry."  Mohammed The Prophet
"Heavenly."  God
"Hot."  Satan
"Serene."  Buddha
"The other guys liked it;  I liked it too."   Bahá'u'lláh
"I'll come back to this place forever."  The Dalai Lama
"Wimps review online.  I nail my reviews to the front door."  Martin Luther 
SPORTS FIGURES
"The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."   Yogi Berra
"I was going to get out there after the thing in Vegas.  Sorry."  O.J. Simpson 
RAPPERS
"Yo dogs, the four-eleven on the street says this crib can't be beat."  Herbal T, The Topanga Rapper 
LABOR ACTIVISTS
"From where I stand, I couldn't organize this place any better than the owners have done."  Albert Shanker

Celebrity Guest Comments


SHOW BIZ FOLK
"It's so private, nobody spotted me."  Elvis
"Did I stay there?"  Robert Downey Jr.
"Somebody told me I stayed there with Robert Downey Jr."  Lindsay Lohan
"You're goddamn right I stayed there."  Jack Nicholson
"I'll be back."  Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Couples achieve Oneness here.  For Twoness, try the Hilton."  Woody Allen
"This place is so exclusive that even room service has an unlisted number."  Henny Youngman
"I'd love to trash one or two of your rooms."  Alice Cooper
"Sorry about the cancellation, but I found out I had to drive to get there."  Britney Spears
"This is my kind of neighborhood."  Mr. Rogers
"I'm in with the Inn crowd."  Dobie Gray
"I punched out three guests before I realized they weren't paparazzi.  My bad."  Sean Penn
"I punched out three guests and I knew they weren't paparazzi."  Russell Crowe
"This is not a Mickey Mouse outfit."  Walt Disney
(Bruce Springsteen said something complementary, we think, but we couldn't make it out.)
(Robin Williams said lots of nice things, but we couldn't write that fast.)
"The long and short of it is the wife and I loved it."  Tom Cruise
"During my stay I was secretly naked under my clothes."  Howard Stern
"Would I stay in a pig sty, Darling?"  Miss Piggy
"Cover me.  I'm goin' inn."   John Wayne
"The answer, my friend, is goin' in the Inn.  The answer is goin' in the Inn...  No?  O.K., I'll work on it"  Bob Dylan
"We would never stay anyplace where they would even consider renting us a room."  The Marx Brothers 
POLITICIANS
"If you like your reservation, you can keep your reservation. Period."  B. H. Obama
"I did not have sex with that woman here."  B. Clinton
"In a word, accommodatious and comfortating."  G. W. Bush
"Never in the field of hostelry has so little been paid by so many for so much."  Winston Churchill
"Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you four can do at your country Inn."  J.F.K.
"This Inn pleases all of the people all of the time."  Abraham Lincoln 
DICTATORS
"In this B&B, workers of the world, you night."  Vladimir I. Lenin
"I like it that the rooms, unlike Russian hotels, are not bugged...in both senses."  Vladimir Putin
"These running dogs of capitalist imperialism subvert the class struggle with king beds and waffles."  Mao Tse-Tung
"If I can't get a reservation, I'm gonna go ballistic."  Kim Jong Il
"The mother of all Inns."  Saddam Hussein
"Please cancel my reservations for third week of June, '41.  Going East, instead."  A. Hitler 
TERRORISTS
"Yes, the owners are infidels and fry bacon, but it sure beats the hell out of a cave in Tora Bora."  O. bin Laden 
DOCTORS
"It's a very grown-up place where you can stop whining and start living."  Dr. Laura
"I wish Stanley had found me here."  Dr. Livingstone
GENERALS
"I shall return to this place, too."  Gen. Douglas MacArthur
​"I don't see what the big deal is, but I guess it's O.K. to post a sign saying I slept there."  G. Washington
INDIANS
"The only reservation that I would consider."   Chief Sitting Bull
"I stayed a week and gained ten pounds."  Mahatma Gandhi 
ARTISTS
"This Inn needs to be painted."  Norman Rockwell